HELLO GORDY DICKSON
Words: Robert Asprin
Music: "Goodbye Mrs. Derkin"
Well, Dorsai was a planet, made famous by its habit,
Of stopping other's quarrels. That's how they rose to fame.
It's people showed devotion, through Vulcan-like emotion
And the coldest of the warriors was the household known as Graeme.
Chorus: Well, it's Hello Gordy Dickson, your Dorsai needed fixin'.
They needed to be human. They needed to be sane.
All men of war are crazy. There'll be some who are lazy.
There'll always be irregulars. That's how we got our name.
Well, Cletus was the first one. For some of us the worst one.
He quickly showed the Dorsai the roughest road to take.
He trained them to be Spartan, with minds as quick as lightin'
And in the process taught his foes to gag on their mistakes.
Well, Kensie Graeme had style. The first one in the Cycle.
He was practically human. His men liked him a lot.
A gentleman in manner, but a demon when in battle.
He was a hero's hero, so of course you had him shot!
And then came little Donal. So young no one would follow.
But before he finished, the Others fell in line.
His goal was evolution. His weapon intuition.
He activated Formaine so we all could start on time!
Well, the Graemes can just move over, because we're taking over.
Our fame is getting bigger, and we've only just begun.
We take it as our mission; a kind of social fission;
To show the Dorsai once and all that fighting can be fun!
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