Words: De Peterson
Music: "Irish Washerwoman" (trad.)

 Old Hawkeye is drunk and Yang doesn't know it.
 And Yang too is drunk and old Hawkeye don't know it.
 They're both of them lying dead drunk in a bunk,
 And neither one knows that the other is drunk.
 The Klingons are walkin' away with the loot.
 They've stolen the women and Art Show to boot.
 In fact they've stolen the whole god-damned show,
 And Hawkeye and Yang were too dead drunk to know.
 Annie and Anne and De and Elen
 Are wondering what's gotten into those men.
 They're wondering just what hooch they had drunk
 That left those two lying dead drunk in their bunks.
 They've drunk so much Tulley they're barely alive,
 And now each is faced with a twelve-hour drive.
 For Yang has the auditors coming at ten,
 And Hawkeye has shock rounds tomorrow again.
 They're better off sober, and both of them know it,
 But they can't take the strain of a con and they show it.
 Their reasons for drinking would make a stone cry:
 Wouldn't you drink if you lead the Dorsai?

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